Past: What REALLY Happened
by Combined Transfans
Summary: Insane Commanders, Ice Cream, Betrayl, Cable TV, Scavenger forced to talk like a dog! What really happened in the Armada Episode Past! (written by Maelstrom1 and The-Crab)
1. Past 1: The Insanity Begins with TV!

**Disclaimer: **This is Maelstrom (Maelstrom1 now…thank you ff.net *glares*)  with your Disclaimer!  This is a parody of Armada's Past Part 1, Made by me and The-Crab.  Now before reading this, we have nothing against gay people!  They are just fine in our books.  And we like Sideswipe too!  I act like Sideswipe in real life!  No I'm not gay!  This is all for fun so please, don't hurt us!

We find our noble Autobot commander in Autobot HQ, ever vigilantly monitoring Decepticon activity.

Prime: Everybody loves Raymond? That's crap. *switches the channel to Oprah* crap *switches the channel to Barney* OH GOD *quickly changes it to news*

News Guy: And now, the news you hear over and over and over and over and ov- *Prime changes the channel to the shopping network*

Seller: Now, when you attach this cable, you...

Prime: Cable.....WE NEED CABLE TV!!

Scavenger: What are you blabbing about now prime?

Prime: Quiet Scavenger, and back to your hands and knees soldier, you're the pet dog for today.

Scavenger: *grumbles* I wish he's never seen The Wizard of Oz.

Hot Shot: *walks in, seeing Prime on the phone*

Prime: Yeah, I need a cable TV set ASAP!...Ok....Ok...bye! *slams the phone down, breaking it*

Hot Shot:...uuhhhhh.....

Prime: *pets Scavenger* Soon....we shall have cable...soon.

Scavenger: Prime, this is-

Prime: Talk like a dog, soldier!

Scavenger: *grumbles* woof woof.

Prime: Good boy. *hands him a dog treat*

Hot Shot:...*begins a flashback*

Hot Shot leans back, licking his ice cream happily at the local Dairy Queen, which is on Cybertron for some reason that doesn't needed to be explained.  

Hot Shot: Boy I'm glad I skipped out on that fight to get ice cream...can't help but think I'm forgetting something.....

Scene switch to Wheeljack, sobbing on a street corner, looking at his wrist watch.

Wheeljack: Where is he! *sob*  Hot Shot promised me ice cream, and now the Decepticon's are attacking *cries more as laser blasts fly around him*  I CAN'T FIGHT WITHOUT ICE CREAM! *licks one of his blaster rifles* its....*sniff*....not the....*sob*....same....WAAHHH!

Megatron: *walks up to Wheejack with two ice cream cones, licking one* Hello there. Want some ice cream?

Wheeljack: *looks up, sniffling* Huh?....sure! *eats it really fast* Thanks! I owe ya!...ow! Brain freeze, brain freeze!

Megatron: You wanna join the Decepticons?

Wheeljack:...*evil look* Yesssss, I wanna make Hot Shot pay!

Megatron: *slaps Wheeljack* Dont you ever say that word again, it's mine, yessss!

*end flashback*

Prime: HOT SHOT!  *Hot Shot flies back from Prime smacking him*

Hot Shot: Yes sir!

Prime: You idiot, the cable guy is here, I want you and Blurr to go help him in!

Sideswipe: *carrying a box* *gay accent* oh my goodness, this place is so dark and damp! They need to put up some curtains in here or something *Hot Shot and Blurr walk up* Hello there, I'm Sideswipe, What's you name, baby blue? *winks at Blurr*

Blurr: Oh......my......god....NOT YOU!!

Hot Shot: Wha? Huh?

Sideswipe: Yep! Its me, baby blue, I see you didn't forget me.

*Flashback*

Blurr walks into the bar, everybody dance now is playing, strobe lights going everywhere.

Blurr: This doesn't look like the swingers club...

Random Autobot: Get out of my way shorty!

Sideswipe: Hey bub, everyone can dance here!

Random Autobot: Oh yeah, I'll sho-

Blurr: Hey, leave him alone!

Random Autobot: Meh! Not worth my time.

Sideswipe: My hero! *grabs Blurr's rear*

Blurr: "WHOA, Now I know I'm not in the right bar" *runs away*

Sideswipe: Wait!  Your bum is so baby blue, come back! 

*end flashback*

Blurr: No no no no no! Hot shot, he's all yours *grabs a box and runs*

Sideswipe: Call me hun!

Hot Shot: Alrighty, lets get to work!

Sideswipe: I suppose, I play hard, I work hard! *his internal radio plays 'Everybody Dance Now'*

Hot Shot: Weird guy, but decent tunes *heads back inside, Prime's head shoots up*

Prime: It...it...*narrows optics* got gayer in here...

Scavenger: We're robots, we can't be gay.

Prime: *glares*

Scavenger: *sighs* woof.

Elsewhere in the Suburbia of Death…….

Wheeljack: *stalking an ice cream truck* Go ahead....stop for the cute kids...you know you wanna....

Ice Cream Man: *speeds up to 15MPH*

Wheeljack: Oh no you don't! You aren't gonna out-speed me! *cranks it up to 20MPH* MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Ice Cream Man:  What the heck!  *speeds up to 25 mph as Wheeljack gives chase*

Wheeljack: you won't outrun me, not in this suburbia!  *pulls into the other lane, beside the Ice Cream Man and slowly bashes into him*

Ice Cream Man: So you want to rumble eh?  *ice cream music turns to ghetto music as he turns his cap sideways, spikes coming out of  the hubcaps as he rams wheeljack, and swipes wheeljack, spikes impaling his tires, then drives off*

Wheeljack: CRAP! Again, denied of my sweet sweet ice cream.

Fat Kid: I llloovvveee my ice cream!

Wheeljack: ARGH *transforms, shoots fat kid*  Damnit!  Melted the ice cream….

Back at the Autobot Camp of Badassitude…

 Prime: *sitting on the couch while Smokescreen and Red Alert are behind the TV* Is it done yet!?

Scavenger: Prime- *Prime glares* woof woof.

Prime: Listen to Scavenger you scally-wags! Pick up the pace!

Red Alert: Sir, if I may ask-

Prime: No you may not ask! I want my Three's Company, AND I WANT IT NOW!

Smokescreen: Stupid Prime, thinks he's so big and bad….

Prime: I am thank you very much.

Smokescreen: Meh...ok, someone needs to throw the power switch.

Prime: At last, someway to put them to use!  RRRRAADDD!

Rad: *runs in* yeah Optimus, can I help you do something that a giant robot couldn't possibly do better than a prepubescent teen?

Prime: Toss that switch, umm…The Decepticons are…somehow…..sucking my strength, yeah, and I can't possibly do it…..hurry Rad…for the sake of the Autobots!

Red Alert: *To Smokescreen* That was better than his real speeches.

Rad: Never fear Optimus, I can save you from those massive evil mechanical robots with my pale limbs!  *throws the switch, and is severely electrocuted, thrown back, and splatters against the wall*

Scavenger: That was pretty cool

Prime: Finally put Laserbeak to use to--HEY!  what did you say!?

Scavenger: Woof

Prime: Thought so, now to watch that in slo-mo over and over again! *pets Scavenger and laughs, Laserbeak doing the chicken dance*

We now switch to Hot Shot's class of usurping command…

Hot Shot: Ok Sideswipe, this is what you do: You walk up, and you say "Excuse me, you dropped something....my jaw!"

Sideswipe: Oooooh, thats not nice! 

Hot Shot: *facepalms* Ugh....*sees Wheeljack, but not knowing its him* Ok, see that black car? It's obviously a transformer, so go pick a fight with it!

Sideswipe: If you say so *walks over and kicks Wheeljack*

Wheeljack: Hey that felt pretty good, do that again.

Sideswipe: Whatever you say hunny buns!

Wheeljack: Wait!  NO! NO! That was supposed to mean you're a wuss!

Sideswipe: *hurt* Are you calling me gay!

Wheeljack: You're gay! *transforms*  My beat down sticks are tellin me that gay people suck! *gets attacked by a gay pride parade*

Sideswipe: I'm not gay!  Why does every one think that?

Wheeljack: Ow Ow Ow those signs hurt!

Hot Shot: *runs over*  Stop being gay and beat him up!

Sideswipe: I'M NOT GAY *punches Hot Shot*

Wheeljack: *tosses last gay man off of him* Hey let me get some of that! *grabs his beat down sticks and proceeds to help Sideswipe beat Hot Shot*

Hot Shot: *being beaten by Sideswipe and Wheeljack* OW!!! *kicks them both away and looks at Wheeljack*...Grindor....Grindor is that you?!

Wheeljack: Huh?! You should know who I am Hot Shot, after all, you never brought me any of that sweet, creamy ice cream! Or a cold, milky milkshake! And not even a chocolately, warm hot fudge sundae! How dare you!

Hot Shot:....wha? Grindor what are you talking about?

Wheeljack: Grrr...IT'S ME! WHEELJACK YOU IDIOT!

Hot Shot: Shockwave?

Wheeljack: BWWAAAA! *Bludgeon's Sideswipe with a beat down stick*

Sideswipe: *rubbing his head* Oh behave....

Wheeljack: I'LL MAKE YOU REMEBER! *grabs Hot Shot and rubs his face on his torn symbol.* Its W-H-E-E-L-J-A-C-K....WHEELJACK! *beats Hot Shot's face on his chest*

HS: Ow ow ow ow ow stop Leader-1, I recognize you now!!

Wheeljack: *does the Xena yell*

Hot Shot: OOOOHHHHH!  Wheeljack!

*Wheeljack Facefaults*

Hot Shot: So....what's up, dude?

Wheeljack: Grrr...you know what's up! You never brought me any ice cream! Well I'm here to tell you I came for revenge! *pulls out a spoon* I've waited a long time for this *pulls out a really big ice cream bowl* HAHA!

Hot Shot: *gasp* Not the Super Mega Ice Cream Bowl 2005!

Wheeljack: Yes, and I intend to eat it all, RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU! *begins eating*

Two hours later, at the curb of doom…

Wheeljack: *ice cream all over his face and a bit on other parts* Uuugghhhh....see? I ate *burp* it all...

Hot Shot:....Dear Primus, we're done for!

Wheeljack: Now revenge is mine, ahahahahah!  Time to finish you off!  *reaches for his gun, but it's to far away, he rolls over slightly, and accidentally pushes it farther away* NNoooo....tooo....full

Hot Shot: *Shoot's his own leg*  Sideswipe!  I'm hit, get me out of here!

Sideswipe: Stop calling me gay!

Hot Shot: I'm not, now get over here you Richard Simmons wanna be!

Wheeljack: *by some miracle gets his gun back, and shoots Sideswipe in the back*

Sideswipe: OWIE! *falls over unconcious*

Hot Shot: Pansy! *sees Wheeljack slowly crawling towards him* OH CRAP! *warps away*

Wheeljack: *manages to stand up* Ugh....I did it! *sees Sideswipe* ...hehehe *grabs Sideswipe and warps away to unknown parts*

Fade to Prime's ghetto shack

Hot Shot returns to base, limping as Prime kicks the TV, messing with the antennas.

Prime: What are you doing here, where's Sideswipe?

Hot Shot: Ummm.....................jogging?

Prime: You twit, get back out there and don't come back until my cable works!  And take Jolt with you, for Primus's sake!  *points to Jolt, who's been sitting in the corner waiting for orders for 3 months now, spider webs hanging off of him*

Jolt: I see dead people....

Hot Shot: Fine, come on, let's go get him. *sighs*

Jolt: *Looks back, seeing ghosts flutter about* Suckers!

Ghost: Screw you too!

Hot Shot: Who ya talkin to Jolt?

Jolt: Mind yo own buizznasss, G!

Hot Shot: When we get back, you're going straight to Red Alert.

To Be Continued……………………………


	2. Past 2: The Insanity Ends with Tidal Wav...

Disclaimer: Hey, this is The-Crab doing the ever-cliche disclaimer. Why I'm not using Word like I usually, do, I dont know.   
  
Its roughly 1:30am, so I'm gonna make this blunt: We dont own Transformers, and we still respect gays, this is all just for  
  
fun, so dont sue us, please *ends disclaimer and falls asleep on the desk*  
  
***************************  
  
At the Decepticon's Shack of Funk, Megatron vigorously plans against the Autobots...  
  
Megatron: *Sitting in a hot tub, with Tidal Wave in warship mode with 'Rubber Ducky' written on him*  
  
Thrust: Sir, the-...what are you doing?  
  
Megatron: I'm playing with my rubber ducky! *pokes Tidal Wave*  
  
Tidal Wave: squeak  
  
Thrust:....Anyway, sir, our scanners have detected another Decepticon on earth  
  
Megatron: *Gets out, revealing a pink Speedo on* Well then, lets go get our new recruit!  
  
Thrust: Right away sir! *runs out the room*  
  
Megatron:....*Sits back down and pokes Tidal Wave again*  
  
Tidal Wave: Squeak!  
  
******************************  
  
Later, at the Ice Cream Factory of DOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!...  
  
Hot Shot and Jolt appear by a long abandoned Ice Cream factory.  
  
Hot Shot: Something tells me he'll be in here.  
  
Jolt: And I bet it's not the sign, right. *Points to a sign saying "Wheeljack's ice cream factory of fun"  
  
Hot Shot: Shut up, smart ass. *Smacks Jolt, who grabs his hand and bites him* OWW!  
  
Jolt: You taste like chicken.  
  
Hot Shot *Rolls his optics* Lets just find gaywa---errr....Sideswipe.  
  
Jolt: Right, you take the lead! *Hot Shot starts walking in, Jolt snickers and follows* Sucker.  
  
Meanwhile, inside Wheeljack's Mausoleum of Creamed Ice Goodness  
  
Sideswipe: *Tied up, waking up, is in an ice cream factory, covered in ice cream* What the hell!?  
  
Wheeljack: So you're awake, now, my ice cream, When Hot Shot asks for the ice cream, he isn't going to get any! *Mad cackle, licks Sideswipes face*  
  
Sideswipe: Hey, slow down sweet stuff!  
  
Wheeljack: ..............*Edges away* Now I need a cone, and my ice-cream cone shall be complete! *Looks at the monitor, sees Thrust transform outside, looking around confused* Perfect, muwahahahah!  
  
Sideswipe: Man, couldn't you have at least had chocolate flavored ice cream, Vanilla sucks...  
  
Wheeljack: Silence! *Whaps him with a beat down stick, then licks the ice cream off the stick* Ice Cream can't talk!  
  
Sideswipe: Ice cream is gonna shove its foot up yo ass if you don't stop being a freak.  
  
Wheeljack: *Starts sobbing* Even the ice cream rejects me  
  
Sideswipe: Wait, no stop, don't......ugh. *Sighs and holds out his arm* Want a lick?  
  
Wheeljack: *Through tears* Yes... *Licks his arm, sideswipe shudders* So goooood.  
  
****************************  
  
During all this, Thrust, the poor sap, makes his way towards the ice cream factory...  
  
Thrust: *Walking around* Well, this is the location of the Dece- *Is shot and falls over, out cold*   
  
Wheeljack: *Blows smoke off of his gun* Now.....now I finally have my cone!  
  
4 days later...  
  
Thrust: *Wakes up to find his head tied to Sideswipe* What the?!  
  
Wheeljack: *Observes his ice cream, which has melted several times, and gotten several new coats of ice cream...and has flies around it* Now....NOW I HAVE MY ULTIMATE ICE CREAM CONE!!!  
  
Thrust: The bloody hell!? I'm strapped to this Autobot's butt! And I have ice cream running down me! What is going on!  
  
Wheeljack: Cone's can't talk either!  
  
Sideswipe: So what exactly is this supposed to achieve?  
  
Wheeljack: I'm denying Hot Shot of what he wants most, you! That is, Ice Cream! Since he didn't give it to me all those years ago, I won't give him any either!  
  
Thrust: By my Martha Stewart's Daily Collection! How long has he been like this?  
  
Sideswipe: Waaaaayyyy to long.  
  
Meanwhile, the clever Autobot, Hot Shot, begins his foolproof plan of Autobot crafty cleverness...  
  
Hot Shot: *Standing outside the ice cream factory with a fake moustache on* Delivery for Mr. Jack  
  
Wheeljack: Hey cool, maybe it's my new triple vanilla ice cream! *Answers the door, and finds a bad of flaming dog shit on his door step, he steps it out, receiving his foot smelling likes crap. He sees Hot Shot run away and shakes his fist at him* YOU DARN KIDS! *Slams the door behind him*  
  
Hot Shot runs behind a bush, chuckling as Jolt sighs.  
  
Hot Shot: That showed him, mission accomplished.  
  
Jolt: First I won't even mention that it took four days for you to pull that off, but HOW THE HELL WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO HELP?!?!? *Flails arms*  
  
Hot Shot: Uh, his foot stinks now….duh. Jolt, we would have been mauled by grizzly bears if it wasn't for my leadership potential.  
  
Jolt *Face-palms* Primus...I have to do everything myself *Stomps off to the ice cream factory*  
  
Jolt knocks on the door, and Wheeljack opens it up.  
  
Wheeljack: Hello little boy, what's your name?  
  
Jolt: Jolt. I uh....lost my parents. Can I use your phone?   
  
Wheeljack: Sure! Come in little boy. *Mutters* Hehehe, he'll make perfect sprinkles on my ice cream cone!  
  
Jolt: Where's your phone?  
  
Wheeljack: Oh, right by that giant ice cream cone...why don't you go stand by it?  
  
Jolt: *Looks at Thrust and Sideswipe, both whispering "Help me"* Lordy, how stupid does he think I am.   
  
*turns to Wheeljack* I don't want to use that phone, that phone is DIRTY.  
  
Wheeljack: Looks clean to me.  
  
Jolt: No, it's really, really DIRTY!  
  
Wheeljack: Why do you keep emphasizing the word dirty?  
  
Jolt: Cause it's DIIIRRRRTTTYYYYY!!  
  
Wheeljack: I SWEAR ITS CLEAN!  
  
Jolt: Awwww hell with it, HOT SHOT GET IN HERE YOU IDIOT!  
  
Hot Shot: Oh right, yeah, yeah, forgot, Dirty was the signal word. *Jolt face-palms again*  
  
Wheeljack: Wha? How could Hot Shot get in here with my wonderful, stupendous security system?! *Points to a bowl full of ice cream near the door with one of those rope things around it*  
  
Hot Shot:...Hey cool, ice cream! *Grabs it, and is hung by his foot upside down* AGH! NOOOOO!!!!! *Tries to reach for the ice cream*  
  
Jolt:.……………*Face-palms yet again and bites Wheeljack on the ankle*  
  
Wheeljack: OW! *Kicks him off* You're sprinkle dust, Mini-con! *Points his gun at him*  
  
************************************  
  
Meanwhile, at the Autobot Store of Goodie-goodies for Goodie-goodies.  
  
Prime turning the channels, getting nothing but static "Damn Reception!" *Turns on the emergency sirens, Red Alert, Jetfire, Scavenger, Blurr, and assorted Mini-cons run in, as does the kids, first thing Prime does it kicks Billy into a wall*  
  
Jetfire: Despite not being able to complain about your last decision, why are the alarms on?  
  
Prime: Well kicking the human was supposed to help the reception...how I don't know, but now its time for plan B!  
  
Scavenger: Which is? *half hour later, Prime is on the couch, you can hear 'Three's company's theme playing as Prime claps, all of a sudden the reception gets snowy...Prime shoots Fred with his wrist lasers for no reason* "Jetfire! Don't move!!!!"  
  
*Jetfire and Scavenger, wrapped in tin foil, are holding the antenna as Red Alert and Blurr, also in tin foil, are on their shoulders, holding hands...on their hands, Sparkplug, Jolt, Long arm, Liftor, Incinerator, Rollbar, Commettor, Grindor, Highwire, Sureshock, and Ransack are all making a pyramid on Blurr and Red Alert's arms, also covered in tin foil. Smokescreen is standing on one leg on the mini-con pyramid his other legs and arms stretched, and his long arm pointing straight up, all covered in tin foil. Prime continues to sing along with the 3's company theme*  
  
Jetfire: Sir…I can't feel my legs. *Starts to twitch, but makes himself stop as Prime narrows his optics and aims his gun at Jetfire* On second thought, I've never felt better, eheheheh………  
  
************************************  
  
Meanwhile again, back at the Deadly Ice Cream Factory of Assorted Pointy Objects...  
  
Jolt: *Summons his really big gun from subspace and shoot's Wheeljack's hand*  
  
Wheeljack: The hell!? When does a mini-con get such a big gun??  
  
Jolt: When you're an idiot! So always, now dance! *Shoots at Wheeljack repeatedly*  
  
Wheeljack: OW OW HOTFOOT! *Starts doing the macarena*  
  
Jolt: That's better, but I'm feeling Irish tonight, give me River Dance!  
  
Wheeljack: That's Irish? *Jolt shoots at him* OW! Ok, ok, River Dance now! *Does so as Jolt claps*   
  
Thrust: hello? Decepticon strapped to an Autobot's ass over here, I could use some help!  
  
Sideswipe: Ya know, this isn't too bad.  
  
Thrust: Ugh! *Flails about, ice cream spattering about*  
  
Wheeljack: No! Stop! GACK! *Gets shot by Jolt, who sighs and shoots the rope holding Hot Shot*  
  
Hot Shot: *Falls to the ground with a cartoon-like thud, and quickly gets up*…....*Looks around to see Jolt and Wheeljack brawling*....YOU GET 'EM, GRINDOR!  
  
Jolt: The things I put up with *Sighs and flies into the air, and kicks Wheeljack in the optic*  
  
Wheeljack: *Falls over backwards, holding his face* BWA!  
  
Hot Shot: QUICK! Now's our chance! *Goes for the trap ice cream, and falls into the trap yet again*  
  
Jolt: Screw it, I'm not getting you down again *Unties Thrust and Sideswipe while Wheeljack gets up*  
  
Hot Shot: *Flails arms pathetically*  
  
Wheeljack: No! You can't escape! *Shoots at Jolt, who dodges with ease and throws ice cream into his face* GACK! It hurts so good!  
  
Thrust: Screw this! *Warps away*  
  
Sideswipe: Call me! *Sighs as Thrust leaves, and notices Hot Shot still hanging from the rope*...How'd you get up there?  
  
Wheeljack: *Ice cream dripping off his face* I may have lost my cone....*Points his weapon at Sideswipe* But I still have my ice cream! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA   
  
Megatron: *Warps in with his hands on his waist...pink Speedo still on* Wheeljack, welcome to earth!  
  
Wheeljack: *Stares slack jawed, Sideswipe whistles at Megatron* Uh...how'd you get here?  
  
Megatron: No time for that! I need someone to oil me up, now come on! *Grabs Wheeljack and warps away as Sideswipe lunges for him*  
  
Sideswipe: Wait! Come back! I can oil! I have gentle hands!  
  
Hot Shot: *Getting dizzy from being upside down so long*  
  
Jolt: *Sighs* Fiiiine! *Shoots the rope, and Hot Shot lands in the ice cream*  
  
Sideswipe: Well...that was fun....boy that Megatron sure did look good...  
  
Hot Shot: *Stumbles over to Sideswipe with the ice cream bowl on his head, ice cream dripping off his face* Don't you be going gay on me again, you gaywad!  
  
Sideswipe: I'M NOT- *Is knocked out by Jolt, who in turn knocks out Hot Shot*  
  
Jolt: God...another freak to add to the bunch *Grabs them and warps back to the base just before the ice cream factory mysteriously explodes*  
  
**********************************************  
  
Meanwhile back at the ranch.  
  
Prime: Finally, after many, many, many hours of hard work and random kid killing, I'm finally getting my three's company.  
  
Random voice from pile of overworked Autobots and Mini-cons: Yeah, you sure did all the work  
  
Prime: I'll ignore that *Hot Shot, Sideswipe, and Jolt warp in on top of the TV, throwing off the reception* WHA!  
  
Hot Shot: I'm back Optimus, and I got gaywad back and Jolt didn't help at all, but he wanted to stick to my ass a lot.  
  
Jolt: BLARG! *Shoots Billy* Screw you guys! *flies away*  
  
Prime: You....you...you.......Three's...........Three's....Company.......Cable............Lost..........  
  
Sideswipe: *sees angry Prime* Um...I need to go hit on Blurr, bye now! *Runs off*  
  
Hot Shot: Prime, you don't look so hot  
  
Prime: HOT! I'LL SHOW YOU HOT! JETFIRE! I'M PUTTING MY PANTS ON!!  
  
Jetfire: Someone at Hasbro right now had better be suffering...*Turns into Prime's pants, Prime combines with him*  
  
Prime: Jet Optimus! Powerlink!  
  
Jetfire: NO! It's Jet Convoy damnit! Jet CONVOY Powerlink!  
  
Prime: Red Alert I have no time for your insubordination! *Shoots Red Alert as Jet….errr….whoever's Torso and Legs argue.* Fine, I'll find some other way to pummel Hot Shot, I don't need you!  
  
Jetfire: You need me to walk you to the bathroom at night.  
  
Prime: Blasphemy!  
  
Three Days Later...  
  
Hot Shot: AH HA! Take that, Prime!  
  
Optimus: Gah! *losses a Checkers piece* Damnit, Hot Shot, I'm supposed to kick YOUR ass!  
  
Hot Shot: Well when you're in the background as much as me, ya gotta find something to kill time, now pay up!  
  
Prime: Fine, JETFIRE!!  
  
Jetfire: *Walks in* What?  
  
Prime: Hot Shot wishes to powerlink with you.  
  
Jetfire: No.......oooooh no, no, no, no. Its bad enough I'm YOUR pants, but his, too?! Uh-uh, nooo way. Screw you! *Steps on Carlos on the way out, comes back, and rubs his foot on the carcass, and leaves again*  
  
Hot Shot: Damnit, I wanted to be Jet Shotimus or Jet Hotimus, or Hot Jetimus, or, or GACK! *Is smacked by Prime.*  
  
Prime: I'm watching TV now, forget this.  
  
THE END  
  
Tidal Wave: SQUEAK! 


End file.
